Slut Monkey

Rant for 12/15/2007

2007-10-15T15:27:00.000-06:00

I have a bad memory. Let me start with that. Well, I don’t even really think it’s a ‘bad’ memory per se…more like I’ve dumped a lot of memories and replaced them with random trivia about random things. Like medicine. And snagging carp. So, this is more of a preface to those readers who have better memories than me (ahem….Bihl) to explain that these tales may not be 100% accurate. But accuracy is some physical property like melting points and micrograms of tiramisu in a serving. I never really liked snagging carp, but I’m sure that carp have many physical properties. Like immunity to radiation and the ability to find nutrients in the fecal matter of other fish. Which would kinda be a neat superpower after world war 3. I mean, the Incredible Hulk is already mutated. As is Spider Man. What happens when you mutate a mutant? Obvious. You get republicans. And we all know that republicans have physical properties. Like the ability to make sense out of bible scripture. The Rosetta Stone was actually a code name for a super-smart (a physical property) republican…just like Deep Throat is a code name for some guy or girl or inflatable doll. Now, I either 1) never learned who Deep Throat was or 2) forgot who Deep Throat was. But either way, it’s a super cool name. I bet he has John Holmes Mushroom Stamp of Approval on his forehead. And I bet he eats Count Chocula for breakfast with udder juice. And I think I’ll name my first child Deep Throat. Unless it’s a boy. Then I’ll name him Aspirin. Or Apple. I can’t remember which-one-a-day-keeps-the-doctor-away. But they both start with the number A. In school you get lined up alphabetically, so he would always be first. Or is it by last name? A1 is a pretty cool name, but that sounds really familiar for some reason.

2007-02-24T13:09:00.000-06:00

Hehehehehehehehehehehehe.......don't you wish you knew what was in the bag?
Even the part number is "PP". All credits go to Welfareloser.

American Heart-on Association

2007-02-24T01:38:00.000-06:00

I'm not even quite sure what to say about this. What was the AHA thinking? Is it me?

WHO is your daddy?

2007-01-09T21:49:00.000-06:00

There seems to be some controversy over the Y chromosome donor of welfareloser's #4 spawn.

I have uncovered ultrasonographic evidence.

It may be shocking to some...common knowledge to others.

NOT for the faint of heart...

*NOW HIPAA COMPLIANT*

Jan 1st 2007 - Obscene pornographic art

2007-01-01T22:34:00.000-06:00

So, the new year is off to a sleepy start. But never fear, I found something that is perverse.
Make sure you have your sound off (at least the first couple of times).

http://www.fisher-price.com/us/products/demo/vendordemo.asp?sku=H9207&vendor=toysrus

K